Things have been really horrible this year. I've encountered so many stressful situations all at once, as if I was running my head into a wall on purpose.

Recently, things have been getting better little by little. My family has been absolutely spectacular in helping me, I have reestablished my true, good friends, and I have a job prospect.

I have always strongly believed that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I have learned so much this year about the world around me, and I have found that I am strong enough to take whatever is thrown at me.

I realized that I can be quite stubborn when it comes to asking for help. I have a little bit of a perfectionist streak in me, so asking for help can make me feel like a failure. It is still quite a bit scary to reach out, but the outcome is so rewarding. People can be so helpful, especially those who care about you. My boyfriend has done so much for me, in fact, I don't know where I would be without him. I have realized who my true friends are, and they have held my hand every step of the way. My family is so encouraging and supportive; I know that they are always behind me.

It's so important to surround yourself with good people. It's easy to become friends with a not-so-good person, just as easy as it is to become persuaded by them to do not-so-good things. I've had friendships that have kept me from doing schoolwork, drinking on school nights, and lying to others. I was blind to what affect they had on me. It took some low grades and disappointed friends to help me realize what I was doing to myself and my world.

I now consistently strive to surround myself with like-minded people. Some of my values are success, hard work, ambition, and happiness. If the people around me feel differently, than I don't want to be friends with them. It's nothing against them, but it's important for me to have similar people in my life. There are only positive results. Currently, my friends are always reminding me to study, work hard, keep my goals in sight, and to do what makes me happy. Because they have the same values, they can reinforce positive actions in my life and remind to stay on track.

I don't know where I would be if I didn't have these amazing people in my life. I owe them so much, and I can only hope to do for them what they've done for me.

I have gotten to a point where I'm finally not angry any more. Anger takes up so much energy that by the end of the day I'm so exhausted. Anger doesn't always solve the problem at hand. Anger, anger, anger. I have been plagued by this emotion for what feels like my whole life. I want to let it go, I want to let it fly away.
I'm getting there. I'm feeling lighter with each day, I can feel the weights being lifted off of my shoulders. I'm no longer holding the weight of the whole world in my hand, I'm holding the weight of my world.

Over spring break I was flown out to Santa Barbara, CA by my grandparents. They have a beautiful house on the top of a big hill that overlooks the ocean. I had nothing on my agenda for a whole week other than laying in the sun. I was finally able to finish a book that I started reading at the beginning of last summer. I could never get around to it because of my large workload for school.

I was also ecstatic to visit the beach. I grew up five minutes away from one, so being in Kalamazoo has made me long for the water. I forgot how calming it is when you stop just long enough to listen to the pulse of the ocean. 

 This break has done wonders for me. I feel like I've hit a reset button. My motivation is back, I am fully rested, and all my stress is gone. I was able to let all my toxic emotions burn right through my pores under the hot sun of California.

I feel so much more capable of handing the tasks in front of me now. Jamie, the friend who stole all my money, currently has a warrant out for her arrest and I am waiting idly by to get my money back. For the time being, my grandparents are helping me out and I am going to pay them back when I get payed back. For now, I'm not going to stress about things that I can't control and I'm just going to focus on what's in front of me and tackle everything day by day.